Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.
Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree? A: Wave
Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.
Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.
Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.
Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.
Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around
Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw
puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"
Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
Q: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).
Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.
Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.
Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!
Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.
Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray
Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.
Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!
Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death
in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.
Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.
Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!
Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents
occur around the home? A: She moved.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.
Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q: Why do Blondes wear Pony-Tails?
A: To hide the Air Valve!
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been at the computer?
A: There's white out all over the screen.
Q: Why did the blond have a sore belly button?
A: Her boyfriend was also blonde.
Q: What's the difference between a blond and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Q: How do you confuse a blond? Put her in a curricular room and tell her to
pee in the corner. How does a blonde A: confuse you? Tells you she did it.
Q: What does a blonde an a computer have in common?
A: You never appreciate either one until they go down on you.
Q: How do you change a blondes mind?
A: Blow in her ear.
Q: What do you call a blond with a dollar on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.
Q: What is the similarity between a smart blond, Santa and the tooth fairy?
A: They are all make believe.
Q: Why did the blond climb on the roof?
A: She heard that drinks were on the house.
Q: What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two
words of the national anthem are? A: Play ball.
Q: How do you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?
A: There is a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q: What do you call a blond with a half brain?
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One... blondes will screw anything.
Q: What is the difference between blondes and government bonds?
A: Bonds mature blondes don't.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde is sexually satisfied?
A: Who cares.
Q: Why do blondes rub their eyes when they wake up?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.
Q: How are blondes and parking spaces alike?
A: All the good ones are taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
Q: How is a blonde different than a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.
Q: How are a blondes like spaghetti?
A: They squirm when you eat them.
Q: What do you call ten blondes at the bottom of a pool?
A: An air bubble.
Q: What do you call 10 blondes in a row?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Q: Why is a blondes brain pea sized in the morning?
A: It swelled.
Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: What do a blonde and a screen door have in common?
A: The more you bang them the looser they get.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who broke her arm?
A: She was raking leaves when she fell out of the tree.
Q: What do turtles and blondes have in common?
A: Once there on their back they're screwed.
Q: How is a blonde like a doorknob?
A: Everybody gets a turn.
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Q: What do blondes do in the morning?
A: Get up and go home.
Q: What do blondes say in the morning?
A: Who are you guys anyways.
Q: What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A: An interpreter
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the m & m factory?
A: She threw out all the ones with w's.
Q: What can strike a blonde without them even knowing it?
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Red means stop.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoe's off before you get on a trampoline.
Q: Why don't blondes like vibrators?
A: They're hard on their teeth.
Q: A dumb blonde a smart blonde and Santa Claus jump off of a bridge,
who makes the bigger splash? A: The dumb blonde because the others don't exist.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
A: One's a busy ditch.