kunst item

Voorwerp: Kunst item vanuit de steentijd hoedje + gezicht lengte 70mm breedte van neus tot oor is 35mm materiaal zwarte steentijdperk c.a. 2000 B.C.
Art from the stoneage off on face with a baret on his head length 70mm from below till top diameter from nose till ear 35mm material black stone- age c.a. 2000 B.C


****OOK DE INHEEMSE KINDEREN IN NEDERLAND V.A. 5O B.C. T/M 2007 A.D. KONDEN LACHEN*****
GETUIGE DIT:

Beter 10 vogels die voorbij vliegen dan tien vogels die van uit een boom op je poepen .
Je kunt beter door de trap zakken dan op je zak trappen
Je kunt beter een poes in je boom hebben dan een boom in je poes
Jij bent de zon jij bent de zee jij bent de afvoer van mijn wc
Kinderen op de achterbank veroorzaken ongelukken, ongelukken op de achterbank veroorzanken kinderen!
Komt een vis bij de dokter zegt de dokter ik zie het al.....UIT DE KOM
Laat u het prijsje er maar aanzitten, het is een cadeau
Leraren helpen je problemen oplossen die je zonder hen nooit gehad had
Leraren vergissen zich nooit, want vergissen is menselijk
Leraren zijn net schilderijen: ophangen die zooi!
Licht is sneller dan geluid. Daarom zien mannen er intelligent uit, tot je hen hoort spreken
Meester mag ik even naar het toilet...Waarom?? omdat ik even naar mijn eigen gezeik wil luisteren
Niet storen ik ben al gestoord genoeg
Roses are red, violets are blue, and your face belongs in the ZOO
School is net een hoerentent: elk uur een andere vent
Staat je school in de brand, blus het dan met benzine
Verjaardagen zijn gezond: hoe meer je er hebt, hoe langer je leeft
Waarom dragen vrouwen altijd strakke broeken terwijl ze allemaal zeggen dat hun kont te dik is.

********* FUSS AND FUN ********

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the
Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any... a true story... We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!


 Terug